Dzinski – Buzzard

Prompt courtesy of Madison Woods and the Friday Fictioneers. Criticism is always welcome.

Dzinski coerced the car to the shoulder. He stepped out and kicked the two flat tires. He scratched the stubble covering his jaw. He sat on the hood, rolled a smoke and surveyed the land.

A few black trees poked up from the ashen dirt. Recent forest fire, he figured. The afternoon sun beat down thick on the bare forest floor and all he could think of was death.

He saw the hawk land on a charred bough, watched it rip a hare apart.

The concept of survival blossomed inside him. Dzinski grabbed his jacket and gun and started walking.

More Dzinski here.

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22 thoughts on “Dzinski – Buzzard

  1. Dear Craig,

    There is a spartan feel to the land and the language and Dzinski himself. Let me be the first of many to say that this story is one of the best this week. (and I say it knowing full well that this is the first piece I’ve read. Very glad to make Dzinski’s acquaintance. You’ve a winner in him.

    Aloha,

    Doug

  2. A great piece of writing Craig.
    Doug summed it up so well – those short, sharp sentences help accentuate the spartan feel to the whole piece.
    Cleverly done.

  3. Hi Craig,
    You’ve created some isolated and desperate circumstances for your hero to overcome. Great hook to a larger story. And you give us hope he will somehow survive. You gained a lot of story momentum in just 100 words.

  4. Practical man made a wise decision to arm himself while extracting himself from between a rock and a hard place. Makes me think he will survive. Good read!

  5. Not one…but two flat tires? What bad luck. To tell you the truth, I was looking for Owl and Raccoon to be hiding in the trunk hoping to sneak an adventurous trip with him. Curious. Do men still roll their own smokes? I’m #14.

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