Owl and Raccoon – Waves

Photo prompt courtesy of Madison Woods and the Friday Fictioneers. As usual, follow the link to see the photo and to read what everyone else came up with. Criticism welcome, especially if you find this is becoming redundant. (This would be the final installment of this story line I think.)

One. Two.

The woman said she’d call their parents but her husband whispered something and then said she’d drive them back home instead.

Owl and Raccoon’s socks still squished in their shoes as they stepped out of the kitchen smelling of cinnamon and oranges and into the late afternoon.

The woman talked about the area, how things used to be.

Raccoon wasn’t listening. He stared at the clouds. They curved and whipped together like waves. Waves they could’ve ridden. He wished the raft held, wished they’d made it further down river, wished he wasn’t going home.

“We’ll build another one,” Owl said.


9 thoughts on “Owl and Raccoon – Waves

  1. Good old Owl, I love how well he knows his friend. this couple seem nice too – I like how this storyline ends, even though they boys would have wished for something different.
    Couple of little line edits from the unstoppable editor in me (and I so rarely get to weild him at Owl and Raccoon!!)
    “And then said she’d drive them” sounds like it’s the man saying his wife will drive then, and I’m guessing you meant the woman.
    “squished” means something like squashed to me, whereas I think the image you’re going for is more like squelched, ie wet.

    I’m over here, firmly in the grown up world; http://elmowrites.wordpress.com/2012/08/31/friday-fiction-white-pegasi/

  2. A lot of underlying emotion, particularly for those of us who’ve gotten to know Owl and Raccoon a little. Loved ‘socks still squished in their shoes’.
    Thanks for your kind comments on mine, Craig.

  3. I liked the description of the kitchen, made homey in so few words, and I think you’re fine with “squished” if you want it, as one definition is “Make(d) a soft squelching sound when walked on or in.Eg: ‘the mud squished under my shoes’.” I also liked that even though the ending was sad, the hope of escape is still there at the end.

  4. What can I say….I adore these two little “squishers.” Sorry the raft didn’t hold. That would have been another great adventure. Have you begun illustrating them yet? What fun that would be to have an illustration included with the story. I’m 29 on the list.

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