My first of five eventual entries for the Voice Week challenge hosted by Be Kind Rewrite. This is a really neat challenge, some great pieces grow out of it, swing by and check it out.
Raccoon’s Mom
Plunging her hands into the scalding water, she felt the skin on her fingers tighten against the heat. She scrubbed at the spaghetti sauce crusted on the plate.
Looking through the window, her usually blank face allowed a smile. Her son and the neighbour ran around, swinging their arms and hollering in the backyard.
Her heart tightened. She thought of the ways she failed her son. Tears welled and she shoved her hands in the soapy water to stem them. Fumbling, her fingers found a mug. As she rinsed the cup, she saw her husband stumbling toward the playing boys.
A Bunch of Dumb Words in a Row 
I read this without realizing it was yours. I actually thought it was a woman writing and was quite surprised. I’d say you’ve got at least one voice down exceptionally well. But I’m not surprised. Can’t wait to read your next four.
Aw, this is the first time I’ve really seen Raccoon’s mum and I totally feel for her. You capture her love and hopelessness really well. The short sentences and phrases would be a little wearing after too much of this, but in this length of piece they seem to ramp up the tension so I think it’s fine. Can’t wait to see the other parts…
Ditto what Elmo says! Her perspective is illuminating – and I’m sensing drama to come!
I’m already speculating as to this “stumbling” of daddy…is it in fun, in anger, is he drunk?
Can’t wait to see the rest!
Like the overview. Lots of potential goings on. Why is daddy stumbling? Looking forward to tomorrow.
This is a very tender piece of thought we are hearing…looking forward to the rest.
Great start to your Voice Week. I’m looking forward to the next four.
I sensed a lot of tension in this piece – “..plunging her hands in to scalding water”, “… usually blank face.”……”tears welled.” Definitely a feeling that things were not as they should be. Then of course you introduce the “…stumbling father.” That conjures up a host of questions.