Voice Week 2012 – Day Four

Fourth entry for the Voice Week challenge hosted by Be Kind Rewrite. (Warning: Curse words everywhere.)

Raccoon’s Dad

The man pulls another beer from the box and struggles with the twist off. He cocks his elbow out, brings his hand to his ear and tries to flick the cap into the coffee can on the workbench across the shed.  It goes wide.

“Son of bitch.”

He drinks and pulls the wrinkled sheet from his front pocket. He reads the notice again.

“Fucking prick.”

He crumples the paper and finishes the beer. Fishes another one out and hears someone screaming outside.

“Jesus. What now.”

He stands, walks outside. Sees his idiot son running around and stalks off after him.


8 thoughts on “Voice Week 2012 – Day Four

  1. I love the way this has turned the story back to the beginning giving us more information about the ‘stumbling man’ from day 1.
    Intrigued as to how this will all come together on day 5.

  2. Well done. Definitely get a sense, not just of an angry man who blames others for his problems, but of how drunk he is – without slurred speech or mention of stumbling around. The simplicity of his thoughts does the job beautifully, and I love the hint at some bigger problem with the notice.

  3. The voice is definitely there but I just wish there was a way to go without the swearing. Though I do my fair share of it in real life it just seems to distract me when I read it.

  4. I’ve been so curious about Raccoon’s dad. He definitely is exactly as I pictured him, a mean sob.

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