Dzinski – Sour and Sweet

Prompts (bloodbath, sweet and sour, soprano) courtesy of Cake.shortandsweet‘s Wednesday Write-In. Another entry in the Dzinski – Christmas Slaying series.

The way the brunette screamed when Dzinski spurned her attempt at seduction, you’d think she’d walked into a bloodbath. Her tirade would’ve made sailor blush. He took it all across his back, a gentle smirk on his lips as he continued to wash the dishes and set them in the wooden rack next to the sink.

Her screaming went from an ear-piercing soprano down to a guttural alto. Dzinski was surprised at her range. He wiped a plate and tried to imagine what she might sound like standing in a spotlight with an orchestra in the pit below her.

“You better turn around or so help me god,” she said, most of the vitriol spent.

“Is that all of it?” Dzinski said.

Her eyes narrowed to slits. The corner of her lips turned down and her jaw dropped in anticipation of another fit. Dzinski lit a cigarette and leaned back against the counter, crossed his arms over his chest and waited.

The brunette deflated like a punctured tire.

Her head sagged, suddenly too heavy for her small shoulders. She took a few steps backward until she bumped into the wall, and then slid against it until she sat on the floor. Dzinski finished his cigarette, watching the smoke travel through the slats of sunlight coming in the window behind him. He ran the cold water, doused the cherry and tossed it in the can under the sink.

The girl’s head was between her knees and her arms wrapped tight around her. She was mumbling something. Then sobbing. Then bawling.

Dzinski leaned against the counter and let her work it all out. He thought about how much she’d probably have to ball up and push down to live the way she’d been doing. Some people can do it easy, and some can bite off, chew and swallow part of themselves to learn to do it. He figured this girl here was the latter.

After a few minutes, he lit another cigarette. She said something. He walked across the kitchen and hunkered down a little ways away from her.

“I didn’t catch that,” Dzinski said.

“Can I get one of those please,” the brunette said, rubbing  wet, red eyes with back of her hand.

Dzinski lit one and passed it to her. She took it with trembling fingers. They sat on the kitchen floor and smoked for a bit.

“Sorry about all that,” she said. “I guess it just built up, it wasn’t really about you anyway.”

Dzinski pulled a napkin from the table, handed it to her and nodded.

“I know kid,” he said. “I know.”


15 thoughts on “Dzinski – Sour and Sweet

  1. I love this. Might be my favourite of your stories, it conveys so much. Dzinski’s reaction to the woman’s hysteria is great, he’s like a parent waiting for a child to stop screaming. But then the best part is the way he rationalises her behaviour, how he demonstrates that he understands she’s just having a really shitty time of it. Great stuff, and well-ended. Enough to hint at more of a backstory without overstating it.

  2. Like Sarah, I’m a fan of the understated subtext recurring throughout this piece–it engages me as a reader because, even as I’m reading, I’m writing in my own take on the subtext and what it is, what it means.

  3. Ace. Really packs an emotional punch. I enjoyed her slow dissolve. You also get the sense that Dzinski’s distancing smirk is his own armour against breaking down. There’s almost an enjoyment in him watching her fall that you feel as in, it’s not me. How come he is washing up in a kitchen? Rather than she’s trying to pull him in a bar? x

      1. I wondered if she was the brunette from Wreck! And now I re-read it it is obviously so…that’s even better as I was just saying to Sarah today I thought the brunette was going to cry in that story. And now she has. Ace.

  4. This is great. What a gentleman. He come’s across to me as a rough sexy man. I love Dzinski’s character. I really liked the descriptions of the girl, you’ve portrayed her emotions brilliantly. The ending is great.

  5. Here’s a hard man showing his gentle, understanding and patient side with a girl who is falling apart. I like all your descriptions and the small details.

  6. I like this, too. I thought in the previous piece he had slept with her so not predictable at all for me! A strong observational piece. Well done.

  7. Oh no, I’ve been caught! I think you should be flattered though that your story inspires us to talk about it even when we’re nowhere near the internet or the write-in :D

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