Making Ends Meet

Prompts courtesy of Cake.shortandsweet‘s Wednesday Write In. 


The five women sat at around a table at the back of the bar, cackling like a coven. The waiter rolled his eyes as they called him over for another round of daiquiris. Their whispered conversation evaporated as he approached. He felt like a biplane flying over the Bermuda triangle.

“Another round, ladies?” he asked.

Four of the brood turned to their leader who tried to screw her eyes on straight long enough to answer. Her fingers, chipped and chewed nails, knotty joints, purple veins crisscrossing the back of her hand like mountain ranges, stroked the side of her breast.

She thought she came off as playful. She might have pulled it off, forty years ago, but now, all the waiter wanted to do was run.

They cooed and cawed, clawed at his thighs, his arms, prattled on about topics he didn’t bother listening to, and finally ordered. The waiter stalked off to the bar picked up the waiting glasses. He walked back and set the long-stemmed drinks in front of them. He saw the stack of twenties under the matriarch’s palm.

His eyes traveled up the thin-skinned arm, past the loose flower blouse, over the loose skin of her neck and discovered a cocked eyebrow over a suggestive glance.

The waiter knew what she wanted. He nodded.

When the group of women left a few hours later, he was already waiting beside their car.


7 thoughts on “Making Ends Meet

  1. Great description of the older women. When she ‘stroked the side of her breast’ I giggled knowing full well the conflict that would likely ensue. Wonderful story. :)

  2. He’ll earn his money with those raddled old harridans! Love the alliteration – ‘cooed and cawed, clawed’ – and the image of scraggy old birds throughout. Great.

  3. Really like the imagery of the women and the self assured personality of the ‘matriarch’ – really awesome. Also this phrase: “purple veins crisscrossing the back of her hand like mountain ranges,” was absolutely top notch for me. how can you scale the mountain ranges of (almost) senior citizenship? Amazing.

  4. Excellent imagery throughout. I like ‘the purple veins criss crossing …’. So effective. This is one I will be thinking about for a while. It is actually quite a sad story, I think, even although you have made it very colourful. I really enjoyed this.

  5. I too loved the alliteration & the descriptions of the women which makes the ending even more chilling. The title works great with the end. Some lovely writing – live the line “Their whispered conversation evaporated as he approached”!

  6. Your waiter is a complex guy and written with a good amount of realism to accentuate this. Morals being overridden in an instant for the material is an unfortunate human trait deftly portrayed.

    And everyone loves pissed pensioners.

    Well played with your choice of diction too. The sounds grate and fill the setting without you having to be overbearing with time and place.

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