Her mother opened the door, wrapped in a ratty brown housecoat. Forty years of hardscrabble life plowed across her forehead and around her mouth. She leaned across the doorway, like some kind of gatekeeper.
“So you found her,” she said. A hand-rolled cigarette hung limp and unlit, from the corner of her mouth. “Well, come in. My husband’ll be home soon. He has your money.”
Dzinski shuffled in behind the girl. They waited at the kitchen table. The radio played something mournful between coughs of static.
Heavy boots landed on the wooden front porch. Dzinski watched the girl tense up.
Prompt courtesy of the Friday Fictioneers. Read more stories here.
I love the description of the mother’s face, Craig!
janet
Thanks Janet.
Another day, another new word: ‘hardscrabble’. Thanks!
Thanks for reading.
“Forty years of hardscrabble life plowed across her forehead and around her mouth.” Wonderful description!
I got a little confused with the mother, and then the switch to “the girl.” Are they the same person?
I see what you mean about the confusion there. I’ll look into sharpening that.
I had a typo on mine, that other readers found… hope you don’t mind. That said, it’s a great story, with some wonderful wording. :-)
I don’t mind at all, I appreciate it.
:-)
Dear Craig,
It’s not often that I really get into a FF serial. Yours is a brilliant exception. No wonder the girl ran away from home. What a great description of the mother. Lovely lady…NOT. I can’t wait to see where you’re taking this next. Waiting for the next installment.
Shalom,
Rochelle
Well, I’m honoured. Thanks Rochelle.
Hi Craig,
Great job of creating a scene with hard edged details, and there’s an awful lot said here without saying anything at all. Well done. Ron
Thanks a bunch Ron.
Love the description, well done.
Thanks again.
Hi I’m new today and yours was the first story I visited. Great stuff – left me making up my own next chapter!
Thanks for stopping by.
Well told, thank you.
Thank you for reading.
Woah-what “gentle” folks-Mom seems roughened enough but I guess compared to her booted husband,she is an angel!Poor girl-I feel for her!Intriguing and loved the way you drew the characters:-)
Thanks a bunch.
:-)
I had not read any previous entries.. but it really doesn’t matter… yours told a story just by itself…
The last line made ME tense up!