On the Occasion of a Remarkable Achievement

“I mean, how hard is it to say the whole word?” she asked, shredding the empty sugar packet until a pile of confetti formed on the table. “Oh, no, three more syllables. I can’t possibly… and don’t even think about writing it all out. People have very important things to do and can’t waste any time on eight unnecessary letters.”

“Shouldn’t you be celebrating?” he asked.

“Every text and message I get is ‘congrats.’ If someone actually said that word out loud I might explode.”

“I’m going to have the pie,” he said, “Blueberry or peach, what do you think?”

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